“I can’t come anymore.” 12 year old Tahisha told Shelly, the center director.
“You can’t come anymore – what do you mean? Why not?” flabbergasted Shelly shouted back. Tahisha had been a part of the church’s after school ministry since the day it first opened its doors – Tahisha was then 6 years old.
“My mom says I love you more than her.” Tahisha replied as a tear trickled down her cheek.
This isn’t an isolated story; we saw it happen over and over. It is why we began to train Center Directors to encourage their staffs to build solid relationships with the Primary Nurturers.
“BE MOM’S BEST FRIEND!”
If you are “mom’s” best friend she isn’t going to want to lose that relationship. She will feel much more secure in the relationship her children have with you – she will know that you care for her too and aren’t trying to “steal” her kids.
What do friends do? They serve each other. Don’t just give, give, give – expect something back.
- Think of ways the Primary Nurturer can serve you personally.
- Find ways to share life with the Primary Nurturer.
- Find something for which you can ask advice of the Primary Nurturer.
- Have the Primary Nurturer into your home.
- Find times to take the Primary Nurturer with you to do things so you can model making right choices.
Tahisha’s mom was probably right that Tahisha had come to love Shelly more. Shelly was always there for her while mom, if at home, was drunk. Shelly always had something positive to say while mom would berate Tahisha. The list could go on.
As Tahisha was entering one of the most critical stages of her life, the teen years, she was torn from the one person who had truly nurtured her.
How could things have ended differently if Shelly had poured into Tahisha’s mom like she had poured into Tahisha?
COMING NEXT WEEK:
KidTrek’s Family Service Plan