Category Archives: Volunteer Training

Church Based After School: Emotional Needs of Children

   This is the story of a church-raised child – how much more devastating this would be for one of your kids in your after-school ministry.

Nine-year-old Marty loved Bill his Sunday school teacher.  On Sunday mornings, he could hardly wait to get to church to be with Bill.  Bill would call from time to time, and they would chat on the phone, or Bill would send him a postcard just to tell him how special he was.

One Sunday when Marty arrived at church, Bill was very excited.  He told Marty that he had just purchased a new fishing pole and was planning to go fishing the following Saturday.  He invited Marty to go with him, if his parents consented.

Marty was so excited!  After Sunday school, he made a mad dash to find his mom and see if it would be O.K.  Marty’s parents knew Bill well, and they were excited that he wanted to spend a day with their son, so they told Marty that it would be great.  Marty ran back into the room to tell Bill that he would be able to go with him.

Bill was also excited and they made arrangements regarding their day of fishing.

Marty could hardly wait until Saturday morning.  He told all his friends at school about his great Sunday school teacher who was going to take him fishing.

Friday evening rolled around and Marty’s family went out for dinner.  When they returned from dinner, there was a message on the answering machine.  It went something like this.

“Hey buddy, this is Bill.  I really hate to do this to you, but I know you’ll understand.  I was just given tickets to the UCLA – USC football game tomorrow.  I know you were really counting on going fishing but we’ll do it another time, O.K., buddy?  Love ‘ya.  See ‘ya Sunday.”

Marty’s mother told this story.

She had just read a brochure on the emotional needs of children.  After reading the brochure, Marty’s mom said that it was at that time that Marty suddenly changed his attitude about going to church.  She hadn’t made the connection before.

As we prepare to provide the most excellent ministry we can for the children whom God sends to us it is vital that we consider each child’s emotional needs.

 WHAT ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS
OF THE CHILDREN?

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Church Based After School Ministry: Teaching Children To Pray

One of the most important tools you can give a child to walk through life is prayer.

When was the last time you took time to teach the children about the importance of prayer.

One of my passions is to teach children to turn their self-talk into an on-going conversation with Jesus. There isn’t a moment in the day that we can’t be talking to Jesus and expecting Him to guide us and direct us.

 

What do you do with prayer? 

When a problem arises, where is the first place you turn?  In your day in/day out living, how often are you in a conversation with Jesus Christ?  When your life is going good, do you share with Jesus the excitement of what is going on in your life?  What about when life is difficult?

 How will you teach the kids to pray without ceasing if this isn’t your lifestyle?

How will you challenge them to move toward a victorious walk with Jesus if your walk isn’t victorious?

A lesson on prayer

Below is a prayer I’ve prayed for you.

 Jesus,

I lift this faithful laborer up to You today.  Let him/her grow in his/her depth of conversation with You.  As s/he comes to You, bless him/her with a sense of Your presence.  Speak to him/her in his/her inner most being.  Oh Lord, I know You long to have a continual conversation with this child of Yours.  Please Lord; teach him/her how to speak with you constantly.  In Jesus name, Amen.

 

Church Based After School: Opportunity To Learn From A Man Who Once Was An At-Risk Kid

 

Below is an interview which anyone who serves at-risk kids must listen to.

 

Rob Bryceson, Pastor of First Covenant Church Spokane, WA interviews a member of his church who grew up an over the top at-risk kid. It is amazing that he is alive today – even more amazing that he walks with God.

You may want to have a Kleenex handy.

We, who serve kids from dysfunctional homes, can learn what not to do from this man’s story. He accepted the Lord as a child, however due to mistakes the church made he walked away from the Lord in the week after entering the Family of God.

http://www.fccspokane.org/2012/06/sunday-06-17-2012/  

Church Based After School: Be Intentional With The Kids You Serve

Dimitri was a child full of anger — he had a right to be angry.

His mother was a prostitute and he had to deal with whatever man mom brought home that night. One night mom brought home a drunk who picked Dimitri up and threw him across the front of his car. Dimitri’s face was cut by the car’s emblem from his forehead to his chin.

Dimitri will live with the scar for his entire life.

Though he was full of anger he was so loving with our new born son. He would carry Joseph all over the Boys’ Club. I was never fearful — he loved Joseph. Dimitri was also in and out of our home.

Years later Joe was at a meeting in a nearby community when a young man with a large scar walked up to him, “Uh, are you by any chance Joe Parker?”

They hugged and Dimitri continue, “I want to thank you. I’m a probation officer now but I wouldn’t be what I am if it hadn’t been for what you did for me. All the time you spent with me — and you trusted me with your son.”

Children need long-term relationships with adults who are productive, empathetic and wise.These are the characteristics we want to see replicated in children that they too become self-sufficient adults.

Below is a chart showing some of the real needs kids have if they are going to become the self-sufficient adults we all hope they will be.

Below are some things that kids need to learn to be able to function as adults.

How are you being intentional in the mentoring of the kids so they will have these qualities as adults?

What Do Kids Need?

Training Secondary Nurturers

What Kids Receive From Secondary Nurturers

Church Based After School: A Secondary-Nurturer’s Story

 Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity to continue my education and expand my capacity to minister to the children and families…

…on my way home I knew that I would be passing by my community.

I have been in the process of getting to know about five families to build rapport and trust with the parents so that they will allow their children to be involved in our programs and summer camp.

I began to pray and ask God,

“Lord, please open up an opportunity with a family so that I can pour out your love this afternoon.” 
I picked up my phone and called “Toony.”

She is a single mom who had recently moved to escape the difficulties she and her children were facing…her ex-husband just got out out of prison for attempted murder…

Toony’s son is ADD/ADHD and is sometimes abusive towards her; and her daughter gets in fights frequently because other girls pick on her.

I called three times. No answer.

I called one more time, she picked up, and after I reminded her of who I was her voice lit up and she was so excited to hear from me.

I asked her if I could come by and meet her son. She said yes.

What on earth was I going to talk with a 13 year old boy about? 

I was empty.

I had nothing.

No agendas.

No expectations.

Would I get there and just hear a silent ringing, or crickets chirping, while we looked at each other in awkwardness?

I decided to bring milkshakes. 

He greeted me as I gave him the milkshake. I shared for two minutes about The Center, gave my testimony, and told him why I have an interest in his life…

All of a sudden he ran out of the room.

He soon returned…with the trophy he had been awarded in football and showed me his team and individual football picture.

He began to share his life.

He told me about his joy of learning, spending time with his grandparents in N.C., and his joy of sports.

He told me about his mess ups and how his mom intervened and took him off the football team as a repercussion for bad grades and getting into trouble and agreed that his mom acted in his best interest!

We talked for over an hour and I shared with him that I’d like to spend some time with him and get him involved in the Center programs.

He said he’d like that.

In fact, he was so excited that someone who cared about his life came to talk with him that he didn’t take one sip of his milkshake!

Maybe I’ll get to see him enjoy another one soon!

  I think I have my first kid recruited into the  program; his name is Carlos.

I picked him up from home, met with the other Secondary-Nurturers and their kids and then we went bowling.

While we were at the church, Carlos saw another young man, Samuel, and they started snappin’ at one another.

Carlos just got suspended from school for fighting and I thought to myself,

“Great. Now he’s gonna’ get into a fight and get suspended from The Center and he’s not even in our program yet.” 

At the dinner table, Samuel was telling Carlos,

“I’m gonna call yo Daddy and tell ‘im you got suspended. Then he’s gonna whoop yo butt!” 

I chimed in,

“Ya’ll aren’t into tattle-telling are you?” 

 As if I were challenging them to grow up a little.

Carlos looked at me and said,

“Joseph, this is my brother. We’ve got different Mommas but the same Daddy.” 

They were chummy the rest of the night, like brothers can be!

Incredible. 

In part one of this story I told you how the Holy Spirit prompted me to call Carlos’s mom, Toony.

What if I had been disobedient, did not listen to the Spirit’s promptings, and gave up when getting the answering machine three times?

I’m not trying to pat myself on the back, but what I am trying to point to is the powerful prodding and unction the Spirit of God puts on us…

…especially when we have a mandate to go and make disciples.

Moreover, my hope is not that doing fun things with Carlos will make him a better person, student, and son…

our center is  just a tool, it won’t save or make a disciple out of Carlos …

…that is my task.

And if I do not carry out this mandate, not only have I failed God, but I have failed Carlos as well.

My desire is to substitute candy for milk and hopefully…Lord willing…meat.

I told him on the way home that The Center wasn’t only committed to having fun but we were…I was… committed to walk with him through life, as much as God permits.

“I’ll be picking you up Friday around 5:30 for the C.O.R.P.S (Christ Our Real Power Source-for the newbies at The Center) retreat, ” I said.

“That’s cool, ” he said.

Next, it’s summer camp. Then, it is the Community Development and Leadership Program, a.k.a.: Discipleship.

God is not only reuniting us to Him, He is reuniting families as well.

Only the strategic and powerful work of Christ can do such a thing…in Carlos’ life…in my life…in your life.

My heart is overflowing with gratitude for allowing me to be a conduit, a clay pipe (connected with others) that distributes God’s life giving water from the source!

God is not only sustaining my faith but ever increasing it to believe Him in his promise that,

“He who began the good work will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6, NLT).

To learn more about Secondary-Nurtuers click below

What Do At Risk Kids Need?

How Secondary-Nurturers Disciple Kids

What Kids Receive From Secondary-Nurturers

Church Based After School: Teaching Kids To Make Choices Begins With You

When you make a split second choice what is it based on?

Most likely it is based on who you truly are. Not what you live on the outside but who you truly are on the inside. What is most important to you? What do you believe? WHO DO YOU BELIEVE?

WHO IS TRULY YOUR GOD?

If you want to train the kids to make wise choices you must begin
by taking a good look at yourself.

If we attempt to make choices in a vacuum without an awareness of who God is, we are going to be overwhelmed.  We will cower and take the easy way out each time.

 However, if we stop and acknowledge who God is, we will be empowered.  We serve the God of the Universe; He can make the sun stand still; He speaks and the seas are calmed; He can bring a human back to life and He can be everywhere at the same time.  Yet, He loves you so much He sent His only Son to earth to pay the price for your sins.  Almighty God wants to have an intimate relationship with you.

Do you believe God can overcome any obstacle in your life?  Do you believe He will do for you what you need done?

Think back over the past year; how have your beliefs affected the choices you have made?  Have you walked by faith or by sight?  Do your choices clearly tell the world who your God is?

This week you will guide the kids in discovering who the false gods are in their lives.  But they must first know who the one true God is.  Who/what are the false gods in your life?  Ask the Lord to show you.

Church Based After School: RELATIONAL MINISTRY:Take The Lid Off

I was in the bedroom creating a seminar on the “Love One Another” passages in the Bible when my youngest daughter, who was then in kindergarten, came into the bedroom.  Dana was fixing herself lunch so she could go to her afternoon kindergarten class and asked me to open the peanut butter jar.

My study had so absorbed me that I did not pay attention to her.  Each time she asked, I automatically answered, “Yes, honey,” or “Sure, in just a minute.”

Finally, exasperated with her mother’s lack of concern for her needs, Dana took the peanut butter jar and whacked me on the back with it.  She got my attention!

Though it hurt, I could not get angry, for the Lord impressed on my heart at the instant of contact with the jar that my study of love had not made me a loving, caring mother, attentive to the needs of my kids.

During the last week of His life on earth Jesus gave His disciples a new commandment:

“A new commandment I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  All men will know that you are My disciples if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

We can do a lot of talking about love.  We can study the scriptures.  We can intellectually know the difference between agapë, philio, and eros love; however, everything is useless if it does not come alive within and through us.

The way we treat the kids and our attitude toward them will speak louder than any words we utter.

Relational ministry is taking the lid off the peanut butter jar the first time we are asked.  In doing so, we tell the kid he is valued; he is significant enough to interrupt what we are doing to meet his need.  As we do this, the kid learns that Jesus loves him unconditionally.  We may be the kid’s only link to Jesus.