Church Based After School: “Life’s A Pain”

As we walk through life with children and guide them to walk with the Triune God it is important that we teach them the full truth. . .

Life often is a pain!

What are you teaching the children you serve, or your own children, about pain that never goes away no matter how much they beg God to take it from them? This is especially important as you serve at-risk children – their lives are filled with so much pain. Just because they grow to love Jesus and walk with them much of that pain will remain.

Please don’t lie to them and tell them that if they submit to Jesus that everything will be okay. IT WON”T BE

When we try to sugar coat life we cause more pain. If you have been a follower of my Blog you have perhaps read My Heart’s Cry – the story which taught me the importance of not over protecting our children.

My pastor, Todd Rettberg, is a pastor who truly pastors – he knows what you need when you are in the midst of pain because he lives with constant, continual pain that never leaves. I know from personal experience that he walks his talk. God has my husband and me on a very difficult journey filled with physical and emotional pain – Todd is walking with us through it.

I highly recommend his new book to anyone who serves children. It is important that we teach children that God doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we want. You can find some answers to share not only with children – but adults who question if God cares when they are in the midst of pain and there is no relief.

JOURNEYING BY FAITH WHEN

EVERY STEP HURTS

Life’s a Pain!

But God has treasures to impart through it.

As a pastor who suffers from chronic pain himself, Todd Rettberg knows what it can do to people and families. With straight talk, humor and compassion, he shows Christians how to find God In the midst of suffering.

Available at:

Crosslink Publishing

The e-book is also available at Amazon.

Church Based After School Ministry: SUMMER

Summer gives you amazing opportunities to touch the lives of the children you serve.

• Don’t do the same old thing you do through the school year.

Kids need change – adults need change too.

Summer is a time to loosen up and have fun.

 

• SUMMER IS A TIME TO TEACH SKILLS YOU AREN’T ABLE TO INTRODUCE THROUGH THE SCHOOL YEAR.

Summer is a great time to teach children how to take a vision – plan it out,  develop the vision and then implement the vision.

Learning to plan is a vital skill that children must learn in order to succeed in life.  In her book “A Framework for Understanding Poverty,” Ruby Payne writes:

“If an individual depends upon a random episodic story structure for memory patterns, lives in an unpredictable environment, and has not developed the ability to plan, then …

“If an individual cannot plan, he/she cannot predict…

“If an individual cannot predict, he/she cannot identify cause and effect…

“If an individual cannot identify cause and effect, he/she cannot identify consequence…

“If an individual cannot identify consequence, he/she cannot control impulsivity…

“If an individual cannot control impulsivity, he/she has an inclination toward criminal behavior.”

If we are going to disciple the whole child we must teach them the skill of planning.  When you have kids for a week you can walk them through the process of planning and implementing an event.  They discover, perhaps for the first time, that they are able to create, to do some critical thinking for the best outcome and they have the skills to actually carry through on what they have planned.

Samples of such Day Camps are:   The Fun Zone (they create a Penny Carnival they hold at the end of the week), County Fair (they work all week to create a fair which includes art judging, animals, baking, plants and a carnival), Christmas in Summer (they study how Christmas is celebrated in different countries and create an evening celebration of all these customs for friends and families.)

CLICK HERE FOR SAMPLE OF THE FUN ZONE

The wonder and excitement as the kids implement what they have created is amazing.

How would your church help “Michael” and his “Anarchist Soccer Mom?”

This is the question I’ve been asking myself since Friday.
The government can’t make much of a difference – THE CHURCH CAN. But will we? What about Matthew 18:1-14 – every Christian is responsible – no excuses.

Church4EveryChild

“Michael’s story” had been posted on my Facebook wall yesterday morning by one of my ministry colleagues while I was in church. This story has also been circulating under the title “I am Adam Lanza’s mother.” Here’s an excerpt…

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to…

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Church Based After School: Emotional Needs of Children

   This is the story of a church-raised child – how much more devastating this would be for one of your kids in your after-school ministry.

Nine-year-old Marty loved Bill his Sunday school teacher.  On Sunday mornings, he could hardly wait to get to church to be with Bill.  Bill would call from time to time, and they would chat on the phone, or Bill would send him a postcard just to tell him how special he was.

One Sunday when Marty arrived at church, Bill was very excited.  He told Marty that he had just purchased a new fishing pole and was planning to go fishing the following Saturday.  He invited Marty to go with him, if his parents consented.

Marty was so excited!  After Sunday school, he made a mad dash to find his mom and see if it would be O.K.  Marty’s parents knew Bill well, and they were excited that he wanted to spend a day with their son, so they told Marty that it would be great.  Marty ran back into the room to tell Bill that he would be able to go with him.

Bill was also excited and they made arrangements regarding their day of fishing.

Marty could hardly wait until Saturday morning.  He told all his friends at school about his great Sunday school teacher who was going to take him fishing.

Friday evening rolled around and Marty’s family went out for dinner.  When they returned from dinner, there was a message on the answering machine.  It went something like this.

“Hey buddy, this is Bill.  I really hate to do this to you, but I know you’ll understand.  I was just given tickets to the UCLA – USC football game tomorrow.  I know you were really counting on going fishing but we’ll do it another time, O.K., buddy?  Love ‘ya.  See ‘ya Sunday.”

Marty’s mother told this story.

She had just read a brochure on the emotional needs of children.  After reading the brochure, Marty’s mom said that it was at that time that Marty suddenly changed his attitude about going to church.  She hadn’t made the connection before.

As we prepare to provide the most excellent ministry we can for the children whom God sends to us it is vital that we consider each child’s emotional needs.

 WHAT ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL NEEDS
OF THE CHILDREN?

Church Based After School: Opportunity To Learn From A Man Who Once Was An At-Risk Kid

 

Below is an interview which anyone who serves at-risk kids must listen to.

 

Rob Bryceson, Pastor of First Covenant Church Spokane, WA interviews a member of his church who grew up an over the top at-risk kid. It is amazing that he is alive today – even more amazing that he walks with God.

You may want to have a Kleenex handy.

We, who serve kids from dysfunctional homes, can learn what not to do from this man’s story. He accepted the Lord as a child, however due to mistakes the church made he walked away from the Lord in the week after entering the Family of God.

http://www.fccspokane.org/2012/06/sunday-06-17-2012/  

Church Based After School Ministry: What Is/Is Not Relational Ministry?

Relational Ministry isn’t  easy – you must continually set aside what is easy and comfortable in order to minister to REAL NEEDS.

there are so many needs!!!

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this,
that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
(John 15:12-13 ESV)

RELATIONAL MINISTRY

Relational Ministry is Deuteronomy 6:4-9 put into intentional practice.

It will never happen unless verse 4 is a desire of your heart.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your might.
(Deuteronomy 6:4-5 ESV)

I would love to hear some of your stories of relational ministry meeting REAL NEEDS.

Church Based After School: Evaluation Time – End of School Year

As we near the end of the school year it is time to evaluate the growth of EACH kid. Has his/her participation in your ministry made a difference in his/her life? 

Do you even know each child well enough to make such an evaluation? 

Go through the list below and place a 1-10 by each statement. If you did this each year you would know where you need to work with or pray for each kid. 

SPIRITUAL

A fully devoted follower of the Triune God
In response to his love for Jesus strives to obey – knowing he will continually fall
Daily admits brokenness, yet always sees hope and worth in Jesus
Self-talk is an on-going conversation with God
Loves God and Loves his neighbor
Knows God and Knows His Power
A studier of God’s Word  Deuteronomy 6
Discerner of Truth – does not compromise Truth
Boldness for Christ
Evidence of the Fruit of the Spirit in his/her life
Walks with God and is Blameless Genesis 17:1
Biblical worldview
Actively involved in a God honoring, Bible based church
Uses His Spiritual Gift to the glory of God
Recognizes that apart from God he can do nothing of worth 

EMOTIONAL

God confidence
Secure based on relationship with Christ
Not fearful of emotions
Is able to express emotions in healthy ways
Knows Source of healing for woundedness and goes immediately to  the Source for healing
Full of joy and peace
Emotionally strong – able to persevere
Able to trust

SOCIAL

Respect for others
Leadership skills
Good relationship with parents and siblings
Solid peer group of believers
Healthy relationship with more mature believers
Willing to get involved in the messiness of others’ lives
Godly humility in relationships
A care for the needy
Sexually pure
Godly use of finances/resources

MENTAL

Biblical Worldview
Mind of Christ
A continual learner
Critical Thinking Skills
Planning skills
Minimum of a high school diploma

PHYSICAL

Treats body as temple of God
Makes good choices
Dresses appropriately, I Timothy 2:9

Church Based After School: PUT JESUS FIRST

WHAT DOES THIS PASSAGE MEAN?

Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it. Jesus said, “Leave her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of my burial. For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.”  John 12:1-8 ESV

When you know the entire Word of God you KNOW that it is not an excuse to ignore the poor. The Bible is full of commands to care for the poor.

Our first responsibility is to care for the poor within the Body of Christ.

Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:37-40 ESV)

 We are also challenged to care for the alien — those who aren’t part of the Family of God.

And you shall not strip your vineyard bare; neither shall you gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard. You shall leave them for the poor and for the sojourner: I am the LORD your God. (Leviticus 19:10 ESV)

So why did Jesus say, “The poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.” 

I’ve prayed over this a lot because I have seen ministries over and over ignore the guidance of scripture to ease the struggle of the poor. I tell of one such story here.

 I believe that Jesus is saying, don’t worship the
poor always put me first

How do we worship the poor?

When we get so caught up in “fixing things” for the poor that we ignore what God tells us in His Word, we thumb our nose at God. We choose to disobey God because we KNOW what this person needs. In so doing we make that person more important than The Triune God.

In the story of Tommy the adults working with Tommy ignored God’s directions in regard to the nurture of children.

           Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 ESV)

 In other words we are to provide training and discipline that will provide healthy growth and development. The adults serving Tommy did not do that. He was never taught how to live a disciplined life, he was never challenged to work hard because everything was given to him – he became a sluggard. The adults wanted Tommy to “feel good,” and in so doing their actions said they knew better than God what was best for Tommy.

“The whole commandment that I command you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land that the LORD swore to give to your fathers. And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years. Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the LORD your God disciplines you. So you shall keep the commandments of the LORD your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him.(Deuteronomy 8:1-6 ESV)

God knows that it is best for us to walk through very difficult times.

 If the adults had put God before Tommy,
Tommy would have been the winner.

 This is just one example of how individuals put the poor (in this case a poor child) before God. I have seen it happen over and over and over. I believe it is a big reason why, though there are thousands and thousands of ministries serving the poor across America, we are not seeing greater results.

When the poor are put before God, before Jesus, it is the poor who suffer

Church Based After School: Choices part 3

PRESENTATION OF SCRIPTURE

The Adult Challenge for this lesson is found here

The Reality Check for this lesson is found here

A Bible for each kid

Church Based After School: Choices – First Part of Lesson

The Adult Challenge for this lesson is found here

• Lay out an obstacle course.
• Have games (e.g., board games) for the kids to play while they wait for each other to go through the obstacle course.
• Or during homework time, take the kids one at a time to go through the obstacle course.
  Have a volunteer in the obstacle course working with you.
• Have obstacles that are easy to get over, under, or around and others that are impossible.
• Suggestions for impossible tasks:  a stack of wobbly chairs over which the kids must go; a rug under which they must crawl, but they can’t move the rug; a math problem that is beyond their knowledge which must be completed before they move forward.
• Suggestions for possible tasks:  stack of pillows to climb over; a table under which they can crawl; strips of string tied to chairs they must step through without touching.
• Lay out masking tape to mark the course.
• You may want to set up more than one obstacle course
  in different rooms if you have a lot of kids.
  
  

• The object of this activity is to make the kids have to choose what they are going to do – the hope is that they will choose to ask the adult for help.
• The adult should never offer help unless asked.
• Bring the kids into the obstacle course one at a time; you do not want them to observe the others going through the obstacle course.
• Explain to the kids what they are to do to get through the obstacle course.
• Give them the sense there will be winners and losers and that time is important.
• However, at no time indicate that you won’t help them over the impossible obstacles; while at the same time, never tell them that you will help them.
• When they come to the impossible obstacles, there are several choices they can make; they can try to do it on their own and fail, they can give up and not go on, or they can ask you what to do.
• If they ask for help, or ask you what to do, give them the ability to get around, over or under the obstacle.  Do not do the activity for the kids; just make it possible to be accomplished.
• When a kid leaves to return to where the other kids are, tell him/her s/he will lose KidTrek Bucks if s/he shares with the other kids what s/he has been through.
• The winners are those who ask for help.
  A volunteer could play the “devil” and encourage the kids to try and do it on their own.
  You encourage them to choose wisely. 
  1.     What did you first think of when you came to the impossible obstacle?
  2.     What did you do when you came to the impossible obstacle?
     You want to get answers from several kids who responded differently.
  3.     Who do you think the winners are?
     The winners are those who asked for help; they chose wisely.